Friday, May 20, 2005tha next episodeHave you ever: a) Thrown up? b) From drinking too much? c) Before 5pm? d) In public? e) In a movie theater? f) During a work function? g) On someone who traveled across country to see the movie? h) During opening day of Star Wars Episode III? i) Left your vomit soaked shirt in the theater? In one efficient afternoon I managed them all. Gosh I feel like an ass. posted @ 07:59 AM PDT [link] [No Comments] Tuesday, May 17, 2005just one of dem daysWhat a time I had doing laundry today. So I load up the ole clothes holder thing and cart it up to the second floor. I get up there, realizing I had brought the mail key instead of the laundry room key. Great. So I head back downstairs to grab the right one. I get in, load up my laundry, and put in my laundry card (we have smart cards that hold value so we don't have to use quarters). Wouldn't you know it? Balance $0.00. So I head back downstairs to get my credit card. I returned, reached into my pocket....and pulled out my car keys. For whatever reason, I grabbed them instead of my wallet. So I headed back down, got my card, loaded it up with a cool twenty and got my washer started. I headed back down and decided to enjoy a quick shower while I wait for the clothes. The only problem? Its freezing cold, no hot water. I got out, put on some jammy-jams and headed upstairs and move my stuff to the dryer. On the way back down, I see a sign that the gas main is broken and there won't be any hot water until tomorrow. So I have a cold shower to look forward to in the morning. Splendid. I goofed around for about an hour (watched Kung Fu Hustle...I preferred Shaolin Soccer), and then headed up the stairs yet again. I open the dryer to find my clothes still soaked. Pop quiz: Whose apartment has dryers with gas heating elements? Thats right, its John. Another older woman was up there pulling out her wet clothes. She says to me "You don't need those for work tomorrow, do you?" I assured her I did not, although I don't know how convincing I was. She then turns to me and says "It must be a guy thing, they always wait til the last minute to do laundry. I have a son your age...what are you, thirty?" Thanks lady. (I really need to start getting more sleep, these eyebags are killing me.) It was obvious the broad was crazy though, cause she said she was going to take her clothes back to her apartment and dry them in the dishwasher. So feeling thoroughly old, I take my wet unmentionables back to the pad, setup a makeshift drying line with some ethernet cable and called it a day. posted @ 11:21 PM PDT [link] [3 Comments] Sunday, May 15, 2005gameSo whilst at the club last night I thought of a few pickup lines that I figured would be successful, please give them a try and tell me if they work. The first: Excuse me miss, but I just couldn't help but notice that you look like a slightly uglier version of a girl I know. The second: Excuse me miss, but you look like a more clothed version of a girl I'll be with in an hour or so. Seriously, if those aren't money in the bank... Anyway, so Steve and I played some pool today, and I became painfully aware that the game requires alot of actual skill to do well. So we set ourselves on the task of making the game more strategic, without actually having to up the skill level. We tried 4 different variations that we made up, and these were the rules that were my favorite. 2 players rack as if they were playing standard 8 ball. Each player chooses odd or even. The 1 ball begins the game as "wild". Play continues as normal 8 ball (each player picks stripes or solids, and can only make first contact with their ball type). The object of the game is to eliminate all the balls of your opponents type (if you are odd, you are trying to get rid of all the evens) and sink the "wild" ball on your last shot. Rules are basically slop. The thing about the "wild" ball is that if you sink it, a few things happen: a) You can switch your ball type from stripes to solids or vice versa. b) You can either pull a ball from the pocket and spot it, or get ball in hand. c) You select the next ball that is going to be "wild". d) Note that the wild ball does not count as an odd or even, stripe or solid while it is wild. e) All shots on the wild ball must be called. If you make the shot, great, you get the above advantages. If you miss the shot, your opponent can change the wild ball. In the event of a scratch, your opponent gets ball in hand and can change the wild ball. Anyway, I think we both thought it was pretty fun and added quite a bit of strategy to the game. Of course, the rules need work, but not a bad first draft I'd say. By the way, if you saw in the previous entry there was a comment which links to a website. That website contains a single picture, and lets just say its of a less than savoury nature. I highly recommend you do not click on it. In lieu of clicking, I suggest you read the haiku I wrote about the photo. liquid poop rains down on her face, neck, chest and head shouldn't have left school Anyway, have a great day and I'll talk to y'all later. posted @ 10:23 PM PDT [link] [4 Comments] Thursday, May 5, 2005life in a cooler placeEver go looking in the mini fridge you almost forget you have looking for beer and find something fermented of a different kind? Steve did, and this is what he found. Apparently it was a mixture of coffee and milk that had been there by Steve's estimation since "sometime before Christmas". Of course, as we cautiously eyed the distended jug our first instinct was to take a whiff of it and see what it smelled like. So we carefully took it out to the public dumpster and opened it up. The weird thing, it actually smelled good. Like a sweet coffee. So once it passed the smell test, the next order of business was obviously to taste it. So I ran inside to get a red plastic cup (which you usually fill with stuff you shouldn't be drinking anyway) and brought it back. The unusual thing was that the layer of mold/bacteria/stuff had solidified so firmly that it wouldn't pour out at all. Feeling somewhat defeated, the bulbous carrier of disease was gingerly placed in the trash for future generations to find. I guess its probably for the best though, had I actually tasted it this entry might be my obituary. posted @ 07:34 AM PDT [link] [4 Comments] Tuesday, May 3, 2005kick this life from me, 'til one better comesSorry for the lack of posts, I've been far too busy listening to the new Pernice Brothers album, entitled "Discover a Lovelier You". The song "There Goes the Sun" just kills me. I get chills whenever I hear it...what a brilliant lyric: overload words get lost scratched your farewell couplet in my window frost kick this life from me til one better comes til one better comes there goes the sun Anyway, I'll try to get back soon with something of more general interest, have a great day! posted @ 08:10 AM PDT [link] [No Comments] |
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