Monday, January 30, 2006the ketchup songWell, heres some things I meant to post, but never got around to. What can you do. Heres a page out of my sister's botany book. I find it quite ridiculous that smut, stinkhorn and puffballs appear together. I saw this while I was in Fresno. It would be really ironic and sad if someone burned it down. For Halloween, I was Napoleon Dynamite's chunky evil twin, and my friend Jason was Kip. This was just a cool picture from camping. It all started out innocently enough, but some things go wrong when you forget to bring mixing cups for my Crown and water. This may be the closest I ever get to having a cell phone. Hair is kind of a funny thing. Why isn't it socially acceptable to have big, bushy hair these days? The 7th annual 12 bars of christmas went off without a hitch in December. Probably the best part was seeing Puff Daddy on Sunset and giving him a commemorative T-Shirt. That, or the perfectly executed Rusty Trombone that came later in the evening. [Definition] Anyway, better late than never, yeah? posted @ 10:18 PM PDT [link] [No Comments] Tuesday, January 17, 2006cinema paradisoSaw Hostel tonight. Here's a tip. Go for the first 20 minutes. I kid you not I saw about 23 different boobs in that timeframe (thats 11 and a half pairs, for those of you that count boobs that way). After that it just got gross. About an hour in they through in 2 or 3 more boobs, but it was too little too late. posted @ 11:05 PM PDT [link] [2 Comments] Sunday, January 15, 2006consequencesEverything you put in to your body has consequences. Of course, quantity and orifice play a role in what happens, but the most important factor in determining the consequence of a particular insertion is the makeup of the actual item. Alot of what goes into me is Taco Bell (but don't worry, my body is primarily a nation of exports). I was wondering what issues, if any, would arise from primary injestion of such foods. So I did my homework and sent away for the nutritional facts. What I received was the following: Taco Bell strives to provide its customers with quality food at a good value. However, as with any food, a small portion of the population may experience negative side effects. Taco Bell has been known to cause elephantitis of the ass and nuts in labratory testing of animals. Now I don't know about the ass part, but the nuts part is assuredly true. Ever since I had my first 1/2 lb Bean Burrito Especial with green sauce and extra creamy jalapeno sauce I have noticed an increase in both quality and quantity of nuts. After a 6 month steady diet, I can safely say that my nuts have reached the size of balls of hail from places that have big balls of hail, like Wyoming. So unfortunately, this side-effect has struck me hard. Not only have I had to purchase a larger size of onederwear but I have been unable to participate in my usual games of sport such as sword fighting and sudoku. If you or a friend are in need of some spare nuts (maybe from a horrible factory accident, or recently married) please let me know and I will see what I can do to help. Had I known about these potential side-effects earlier, this could have been avoided. Always be sure to read the label. posted @ 12:35 PM PDT [link] [4 Comments] |
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